Ruminating on Love

Ruminating on the "fact" that
we as human beings, like
cows, aren't supposed to eat
grains, should eat at least
something like grass - he's
so sure he's right and I am
so fragile like glass

I can't breathe
it feels like he's always
stepping on me, forcing
his opinions to be
and sometimes taking over all
the space in conversations

But frail at the same time
like the bones in his wrist
while searching for the third
seat belt in the backseat for
my friend and he can't find it
and is less than sure
and I suddenly love him
again

And he makes me
chicken soup when
I can't eat, rubs my
back when I can't sleep
and I don't want to leave

him yet I can't take
the criticism, the anger out of
nowhere like my father

the feeling that he's trying to
control or change me and
I'm never good enough, when
I always try and have such
good intentions

I am just struggling to survive
these days, this world with all
its danger and want my heart
intact and never to go back
to such vulnerability again