Requiem - A Poem

REQUIEM
~ Michele Hirning, Spring 1995
That was the week
of nothing to say
but Yes
to different mouths
varied hands
curve of belly
arching back
length and width of thigh.
How uniquely each one
would sigh
among the blankets and pillows
that were not mine
and needed to be washed on Sunday.
Merely there
we did not own anything.

That was the moment
of nothing to do
but try
the hot tub
and closeness
of the water
silent steam
made me feel we had a
chance for intimacy - something
more uniquely sensual
than these nights of hedonism
and pure physicality
not mine and needing to be
washed from my body.

Merely there
when we emerged
chlorine-covered, pruney
glistening in the light
ashamed and hiding,
bathed but not clean.

That was the damage
after the partying was
over, before the family
was home from Mexico
when, in the rain
with the help of my father
to shovel the dirt
I buried their cat
that had crept out of the
window through the steam
while I was carelessly craving love
and not watching.

Made suddenly stiff and silent
from living claws and fur
a small dead thing -
so eternally hurt she was
past all vulnerability.

That was the week
that in my heart
underneath black earth
and rain-soaked leaves
a small dead thing
was saying yes
losing control
feeling scared
and trying to find a way
to finally say No.

I am covered in dirt.
I do not own anything.

Pie Jesu (Andrew Lloyd Webber)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhOstwxcwWs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=df5X_BaWaRE