A Little Anne Lamott for You...

I recently randomly picked up this little book at my new local library.  New to me, but also a nice new building, complete with community/senior center, playground, park and running paths, it was a little bit surprising to find all this tucked behind the super-busy main street with its strip-malls of pawn shops, discount super-markets, smoke-shops etc. 

I was so excited that day to get my Hillsborough County library card and it was so easy!  :)  The below excerpt is from one of the first books I checked out, tellingly.

My belief is that when you're telling the truth, you're close to God.  If you say to God, "I am exhausted and depressed beyond words, and I don't like You at all right now, and I recoil from most people who believe in You," that might be the most honest thing you've ever said.  If you told me you had said to God, "It is all hopeless, and I don't have a clue if You exist, but I could use a hand," it would almost bring tears to my eyes, tears of pride in you, for the courage it takes to get real - really real.  It would make me want to sit next to you at the dinner table.

So prayer is our sometimes real selves trying to communicate with the Real, with Truth, with the Light.  It is us reaching out to be heard, hoping to be found by a light and warmth in the world, instead of darkness and cold.  Even mushrooms respond to light - I suppose they blink their mushroomy little eyes, like the rest of us.

Light reveals  us to ourselves, which is not always so great if you find yourself in a big disgusting mess, possibly of your own creation.  But like sunflowers we turn toward light.  Light warms, and in most cases it draws us to itself.  And in this light, we can see beyond shadow and illusion to something beyond our modest receptors, to what is way beyond us, and deep inside.

This is all hard to articulate, because it is so real, so huge, beyond mystery.  Rumi said that all words are fingers pointing to the moon, and we think the words are the moon.  But because of the light, the light of love, the energy and motion that have called us to prayer, bits of this deeper reality are perceivable, and little bits of it will have to do.

My three prayers are variations on Help, Thanks, Wow.  That's all I ever need, besides the silence, the pain, and the pause sufficient for me to stop, close my eyes, and turn inward.
~ Anne Lamott
Help, Thanks, Wow
pg. 6-8