In the couple weeks between my mother‘s death and her funeral back in April, I listened to the “Maid” soundtrack over and over whenever I was in my car. My sister Stephanie gave it to me because we both loved the show on Netflix and because making CDs and sharing music she loves is one of her superpowers, just like letter writing/sending snail mail birthday cards is mine (as I talked about in my eulogy at mom’s funeral, because I inherited this from her).
When I first listened to that soundtrack, I instantly loved the song “Leave Like That”; listening to it even now, it catches my heart with the very first few notes.
Even though the lyrics seem related to a romantic relationship, for me the song will always be connected to my sadness at my mother’s passing.
And so as we approach what would have been her 78th birthday on August 6th, I think about how complicated grief is, and yet sometimes it is as simple as “gone and I want you back” ~
Packed it up and crossed the state
You left behind more than memories
Now when I sleep I'm only dreaming of your face
I learned to love your selfish way
I still believe in you
And in this burning room
I'll suffer trough the pain
Oh no got me low you're gone and I want you back
Oh no down so low feeling like I'm under attack
Oh no where'd you go you're gone and I want you
I never wanted you to change
Call me up and I'll be running
Loose my breath calling out your name
Loose my breath
Oh no got me low you're gone and I want you back
Oh no down so low feeling like I'm under attack
Oh no where'd you go you're gone and I want you
You're gone and I want you back and I want you
Gone and I want you, how you gonna leave like that?
Feeling like I'm under attack, gone and I want you back
How you gonna leave like that, gone, gone, and I want you
