Happiness Is A Hirning Christmas (And Family is a Mirror)

So we pulled it off! The Florida Christmas I started planning almost as soon as we finished our trip to Cancun last Xmas. It was maybe not as magical as Mexico last year but we 4 siblings (plus Steph’s husband Noe) were just glad to be together for the holiday and we had a great time!

The weather did NOT cooperate so we spent a little less time at the beach (which was the whole damn point of getting an Airbnb out at Indian Rocks Beach versus accommodations closer to my apartment), and more time indoors than I would have liked, but that led us to learning and playing several new games, and also exploring the nearby nature preserve, which is a little hidden gem.

The one day we did brave the beach (the day after Xmas), the fog lifted momentarily only to return and we gave up and went back to the house. 

But we gave it our best shot!

Since becoming roommates with my brother, I’d noticed little things he did or said that slightly annoyed me that I realized I do also. And then something similar happened with another sibling, where I mentioned a behavior that bothered me, and while this sib was defending, explaining and justifying instead of taking in what I’d said, I had an “aha” moment because I saw this was EXACTLY what I had been doing with my husband. 

Literally, for YEARS. And, as much as I hate to admit it, I think this is no small part of what we’ve been struggling with as a couple.

It’s totally human to want to handle it this way, but the insight I gained by seeing my own behavior reflected back to me, is that if we have any hope to understand each other’s perspectives and show the love and respect that strengthens relationships, we have to try to do something different. And I could see how it felt so invalidating to have it handled in any other way. 

So, as we are almost entering a new year, my hope and my prayer for us humans is that we have more real connection with each other, even when it means having to hear hard feedback about our own behavior and even when the sun doesn’t shine on our long-planned family Florida vacation.