"The Show" Must Go On

I've always loved the movie "Moulin Rouge."  It portrayed a certain adolescent drama and angst I guess I've always identified with - as silly as that may sound - and these sound-bites perfectly express it ~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOCcuPcfTHc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s12XiAOtjcg
    
It's been over 4 months now that I've had my new job in Tampa and I talked with such rose-colored glasses about how great it was.  How we were "going to the show."

Truth is that we've had this great 2 bedroom apartment for months and I haven't done Yoga in the extra room set aside for Yoga.  Not even once.

Truth is the company I thought was so great (we moved up here because of it, after all), has had TWO rounds of layoffs now and I don't know exactly why I have survived them but I know I could be next.  It might just be a matter of time.  And meanwhile I have survivor's guilt and that place is so chaotic I can barely believe it.

Perhaps it would be a relief to be let go?  Careful what you wish for, I know.

Soooooooooooooooo "the show must go on" - I must keep a happy face on and see if I can survive it - October 1st deadline, fucking Affordable Care Act and Obama's will to carry it out.

Or find another place I can call work home.