When I think about what death could be like, what I want it to be (as I’m not sure I believe in traditional notions of a literal “heaven”), it would be described something like this song. And in her last days, I found myself wanting this for my mother; I was thinking that if I could convey this vision for her, it might help her be less afraid. But I had no idea how to paint that picture, so instead I just told her not to worry about us, her four children, that we were all doing OK, and that we would take care of each other. And she told me, with characteristic grumpiness “I wasn’t worried!” Which made me laugh. My mother made me laugh and feel loved and supported. She wrote me the sweetest letters while I was away at college, that I recently unearthed and reread in the midst of emptying the house of its contents, to be sold last spring/summer. My mother Judy passed away on Thursday April 14th, before I got a chance to talk to her again, and hopefully now she is truly “home” - in that way we all will be eventually. It’s a beautiful song, and a lovely thing for which I can hope.
After a storm
I want to be brave
And keep you warm
And not fade away
As we float from the shore
Into the light
Into the unknown
Like thousands of lanterns
Glowing with grace
In glorious silence
Descending through space
To a friend
A sister in need
Who is not alone
And they are surrounding her
And they will enfold her outstretched hand
In our love
Into the light
It's hard to believe
It's always been ours to give
And to receive
I want to be shameless like the sun
Moving into you
Entering light
Welcome
Inshallah, Inshallah
Enter one
Amazing grace is pouring down
Fear not this light
We are of this light divine
So come
We move as one
Amazing grace is pouring down
Fear not this light
We are on this light divine
Welcome, enter one
After a storm
I wanna let go
Of the things that I've done
Without any worry
I wanna come home
Into the light
Into the unknown
I want to be shameless
Like the sun
Moving into you
Entering light
Welcome
Inshallah, Inshallah
Enter one
Amazing grace is pouring down
Fear not this light
We are on this light divine
So come
We move as one
Amazing grace is pouring down
Fear not this light
We are on this light divine
Welcome, enter one
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Sophie Michalitsianos
Enter One lyrics © Emi Music Publishing
Thank you for sharing these intimate moments of grief and celebration. To know you are loved is the most precious gift a mother can give a child and your mother did this and more! You carry her light, amplified with the increased potential she passed to you. Sending you light and love.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this amazing tribute, Michele. Mom sure loved you, as she loved all of us. I believe she is at peace, or at least no longer held down by a failing earthly body. We were lucky to have her as long as we did. Love you.
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