REQUIEM
~ Michele Hirning, Spring 1995
That was the week
of nothing to say
but Yes
to different mouths
varied hands
curve of belly
arching back
length and width of thigh.
How uniquely each one
would sigh
among the blankets and pillows
that were not mine
and needed to be washed on Sunday.
Merely there
we did not own anything.
That was the moment
of nothing to do
but try
the hot tub
and closeness
of the water
silent steam
made me feel we had a
chance for intimacy - something
more uniquely sensual
than these nights of hedonism
and pure physicality
not mine and needing to be
washed from my body.
Merely there
when we emerged
chlorine-covered, pruney
glistening in the light
ashamed and hiding,
bathed but not clean.
That was the damage
after the partying was
over, before the family
was home from Mexico
when, in the rain
with the help of my father
to shovel the dirt
I buried their cat
that had crept out of the
window through the steam
while I was carelessly craving love
and not watching.
Made suddenly stiff and silent
from living claws and fur
a small dead thing -
so eternally hurt she was
past all vulnerability.
That was the week
that in my heart
underneath black earth
and rain-soaked leaves
a small dead thing
was saying yes
losing control
feeling scared
and trying to find a way
to finally say No.
I am covered in dirt.
I do not own anything.
Pie Jesu (Andrew Lloyd Webber)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhOstwxcwWs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=df5X_BaWaRE
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
It's the end of the world...and you've come back to me
The Last Day on Earth
by Kate Miller Heidke
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPGZAxNgVlQ
Look down the ground below is crumbling
Look up the stars are all exploding
It's the last day on earth
In my dreams
In my dreams
It's the end of the world
And you've come back to me
In my dreams
Between the dust and the debris
There's a light surrounding you and me
It's the last day on earth
In my dreams
In my dreams
It's the end of the world
And you've come back to me
In my dreams
And you hold me closer than I,
can ever remember being held
I'm not afraid to sleep now,
if we can stay like this until
It's the last day on earth
In my dreams
In my dreams
It's the end of the world
And you've come back to me
It's the end of the world
And you've come back to me
In my head I replay our conversations
Over and over til they feel like hallucinations
You know me? I love to lose my mind
And every time anybody speaks your name
I still feel the same
I ache, I ache, I ache inside
In my head I replay our conversations
Over and over til they feel like hallucinations
You know me? I love to lose my mind
And every time anybody speaks your name
I still feel the same
I ache, I ache, I ache inside
I ache, I ache, I ache inside
I ache, I ache, I ache inside
I ache, I ache, I ache inside
by Kate Miller Heidke
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPGZAxNgVlQ
Look down the ground below is crumbling
Look up the stars are all exploding
It's the last day on earth
In my dreams
In my dreams
It's the end of the world
And you've come back to me
In my dreams
Between the dust and the debris
There's a light surrounding you and me
It's the last day on earth
In my dreams
In my dreams
It's the end of the world
And you've come back to me
In my dreams
And you hold me closer than I,
can ever remember being held
I'm not afraid to sleep now,
if we can stay like this until
It's the last day on earth
In my dreams
In my dreams
It's the end of the world
And you've come back to me
It's the end of the world
And you've come back to me
In my head I replay our conversations
Over and over til they feel like hallucinations
You know me? I love to lose my mind
And every time anybody speaks your name
I still feel the same
I ache, I ache, I ache inside
In my head I replay our conversations
Over and over til they feel like hallucinations
You know me? I love to lose my mind
And every time anybody speaks your name
I still feel the same
I ache, I ache, I ache inside
I ache, I ache, I ache inside
I ache, I ache, I ache inside
I ache, I ache, I ache inside
Saturday, September 17, 2011
"What's Your Damage, Heather?"
Magazine cover
quality women
with such gorgeous
narrow limbs
take up all the space in
the meeting rooms
of America's corporations.
They sit
across from me
wrinkling their
cute totalitarian
noses as if
they smell
something bad.
It's the flick of such
slick platinum hair
their seductive
skinny smiles and lightning
flash of glare, their intolerance
and the way they traipse
down the steel runway of the world
as if it was all owed to them.
And here she
sits, across from me
her forked tongue
silently slipping
between those lipsticked
lips, so that only I can see
for a moment, only I can get
that reptilian stare.
You sorority sister
boa-constrictor
squeezing out all my air
reducing me to nothing
but a 12-year old misfit
with snarls in my hair
throwing me back into that
adolescent anguish
where I am completely
insignificant
and there is
no mercy.
I am black and blue from
the sharp edges of you,
your fashionable fascism
and all your acceptable
unkindnesses.
But the worst part
is how I know
you are what the world
legitimates and loves
because "power always thinks
it has a great soul."
quality women
with such gorgeous
narrow limbs
take up all the space in
the meeting rooms
of America's corporations.
They sit
across from me
wrinkling their
cute totalitarian
noses as if
they smell
something bad.
It's the flick of such
slick platinum hair
their seductive
skinny smiles and lightning
flash of glare, their intolerance
and the way they traipse
down the steel runway of the world
as if it was all owed to them.
And here she
sits, across from me
her forked tongue
silently slipping
between those lipsticked
lips, so that only I can see
for a moment, only I can get
that reptilian stare.
You sorority sister
boa-constrictor
squeezing out all my air
reducing me to nothing
but a 12-year old misfit
with snarls in my hair
throwing me back into that
adolescent anguish
where I am completely
insignificant
and there is
no mercy.
I am black and blue from
the sharp edges of you,
your fashionable fascism
and all your acceptable
unkindnesses.
But the worst part
is how I know
you are what the world
legitimates and loves
because "power always thinks
it has a great soul."
Monday, August 29, 2011
My Wedding Day + 8 Years
Unbroken
~ Katharine McPhee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjj3gozYVl4&feature=youtube_gdata
I lay beside you; I can't sleep
And you don't even know about me
My back is turned a world away
And you don't even know
These tears are falling
And all my life, and all this time
My love for you has added up to this
It's unbroken, unbroken, unbroken
I've lost your thousand silent screams
I'm coming down this brutal mountain
I'm ready here to try again
Standing in the light from the darkness
And all my life and all my time
And all the hurting and all the working
It somehow made me stronger in the end
It's unbroken, unbroken, unbroken
It's unbroken, unbroken, unbroken
And all my life and all this time
And all the prayin' and all the meeting
And all the beating, it somehow makes us better in the end
It's unbroken, unbroken, unbroken
It's unbroken, unbroken, unbroken
It's unbroken, unbroken, unbroken
It's unbroken, unbroken, unbroken
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/unbroken_lyrics_katharine_mcphee.html
All about Katharine Mcphee: http://www.musictory.com/music/Katharine+Mcphee
~ Katharine McPhee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjj3gozYVl4&feature=youtube_gdata
I lay beside you; I can't sleep
And you don't even know about me
My back is turned a world away
And you don't even know
These tears are falling
And all my life, and all this time
My love for you has added up to this
It's unbroken, unbroken, unbroken
I've lost your thousand silent screams
I'm coming down this brutal mountain
I'm ready here to try again
Standing in the light from the darkness
And all my life and all my time
And all the hurting and all the working
It somehow made me stronger in the end
It's unbroken, unbroken, unbroken
It's unbroken, unbroken, unbroken
And all my life and all this time
And all the prayin' and all the meeting
And all the beating, it somehow makes us better in the end
It's unbroken, unbroken, unbroken
It's unbroken, unbroken, unbroken
It's unbroken, unbroken, unbroken
It's unbroken, unbroken, unbroken
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/unbroken_lyrics_katharine_mcphee.html
All about Katharine Mcphee: http://www.musictory.com/music/Katharine+Mcphee
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Half-Life
Half-Life - a noun:
Physics. The time required for half the nuclei in a sample of a specific
isotopic species to undergo radioactive decay.
Biology. The time required for half the quantity of a drug or other substance
deposited in a living organism to be metabolized or eliminated by normal
biological processes. Also called biological half-life.
General. The time required for the radioactivity of material taken in by a living organism to be reduced to half its initial value by a combination of
biological elimination processes and radioactive decay.
The distance of a midwestern winter
is a marathon to run -
something you're not entirely sure
you can endure
until it's done
the days
edged in by darkness
and filled with sheer tedium
naked and forlorn
as any pantyhose you've worn.
The morning alarm is
a harsh wool coat
rubbing up against cottoned dreams,
and coming to consciousness
your day's duties line up
like the blazers
hanging in silent closet march.
So you put on that uniform
pour caffeine down your throat
and slamming out the door
weighted down walking to your car
that may not start
you are jealous of your cat
that you left lounging on the bed
with a face like christmas.
It's your coal in the stocking
the bitter disappointment
to wake up from the dream of childhood
and find that this is all there is -
cubical living and business shoes
clicking with authority on
a marble floor - the formality of
meetings and presentations
and forced austerity
all that business-speak
reining in the
the dangerous power of your
better, your best words
and the longing for more.
It's like a nuclear power plant:
your heart winking in the night
and nothing but
radioactive decay
in the morning.
Physics. The time required for half the nuclei in a sample of a specific
isotopic species to undergo radioactive decay.
Biology. The time required for half the quantity of a drug or other substance
deposited in a living organism to be metabolized or eliminated by normal
biological processes. Also called biological half-life.
General. The time required for the radioactivity of material taken in by a living organism to be reduced to half its initial value by a combination of
biological elimination processes and radioactive decay.
The distance of a midwestern winter
is a marathon to run -
something you're not entirely sure
you can endure
until it's done
the days
edged in by darkness
and filled with sheer tedium
naked and forlorn
as any pantyhose you've worn.
The morning alarm is
a harsh wool coat
rubbing up against cottoned dreams,
and coming to consciousness
your day's duties line up
like the blazers
hanging in silent closet march.
So you put on that uniform
pour caffeine down your throat
and slamming out the door
weighted down walking to your car
that may not start
you are jealous of your cat
that you left lounging on the bed
with a face like christmas.
It's your coal in the stocking
the bitter disappointment
to wake up from the dream of childhood
and find that this is all there is -
cubical living and business shoes
clicking with authority on
a marble floor - the formality of
meetings and presentations
and forced austerity
all that business-speak
reining in the
the dangerous power of your
better, your best words
and the longing for more.
It's like a nuclear power plant:
your heart winking in the night
and nothing but
radioactive decay
in the morning.
Friday, August 12, 2011
I feel the West in you but I feel it falling apart too
With a small shout-out to London, burning.
Northern Lad
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYVpY8EqsKI
by Tori Amos
Had a northern lad, well not exactly had, but,
He moved like the sunset, God who painted that.
First he loved my accent. How his knees could bend.
I thought we'd be okay, me and my molasses.
But I feel something is wrong… But I feel this cake just isn't done.
And don't say that you don't.
And if you could see me now, said if you could see me now.
Girls you've got to know when it's time to turn the page.
Or when you're only wet because of all the rain.
Because of... because of... all the rain, because of...
He don't show much these days, it's gets so fucking cold.
I loved his secret places but I can't go anymore.
"You change like sugar cane," says my northern lad.
I guess you go too far when pianos try to be guitars.
I feel the West in you, but I, I feel it falling apart too.
And don't say that you don't.
And if you could see me now... Said if you could see me now.
Girls you've got to know when it's time to turn the page.
Or when you're only wet because of all the rain.
Or when you're only wet because of all the rain.
Because… of, because of... of the rain, because of...
Because of... of all the rain, because… of... the... rain...
Had a northern lad, well not exactly had, but,
He moved like the sunset, God who painted that.
First he loved my accent. How his knees could bend.
I thought we'd be okay, me and my molasses.
But I feel something is wrong… But I feel this cake just isn't done.
And don't say that you don't.
And if you could see me now, said if you could see me now.
Girls you've got to know when it's time to turn the page.
Or when you're only wet because of all the rain.
Because of... because of... all the rain, because of...
He don't show much these days, it's gets so fucking cold.
I loved his secret places but I can't go anymore.
"You change like sugar cane," says my northern lad.
I guess you go too far when pianos try to be guitars.
I feel the West in you, but I, I feel it falling apart too.
And don't say that you don't.
And if you could see me now... Said if you could see me now.
Girls you've got to know when it's time to turn the page.
Or when you're only wet because of all the rain.
Or when you're only wet because of all the rain.
Because… of, because of... of the rain, because of...
Because of... of all the rain, because… of... the... rain...
Northern Lad
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYVpY8EqsKI
by Tori Amos
Had a northern lad, well not exactly had, but,
He moved like the sunset, God who painted that.
First he loved my accent. How his knees could bend.
I thought we'd be okay, me and my molasses.
But I feel something is wrong… But I feel this cake just isn't done.
And don't say that you don't.
And if you could see me now, said if you could see me now.
Girls you've got to know when it's time to turn the page.
Or when you're only wet because of all the rain.
Because of... because of... all the rain, because of...
He don't show much these days, it's gets so fucking cold.
I loved his secret places but I can't go anymore.
"You change like sugar cane," says my northern lad.
I guess you go too far when pianos try to be guitars.
I feel the West in you, but I, I feel it falling apart too.
And don't say that you don't.
And if you could see me now... Said if you could see me now.
Girls you've got to know when it's time to turn the page.
Or when you're only wet because of all the rain.
Or when you're only wet because of all the rain.
Because… of, because of... of the rain, because of...
Because of... of all the rain, because… of... the... rain...
Had a northern lad, well not exactly had, but,
He moved like the sunset, God who painted that.
First he loved my accent. How his knees could bend.
I thought we'd be okay, me and my molasses.
But I feel something is wrong… But I feel this cake just isn't done.
And don't say that you don't.
And if you could see me now, said if you could see me now.
Girls you've got to know when it's time to turn the page.
Or when you're only wet because of all the rain.
Because of... because of... all the rain, because of...
He don't show much these days, it's gets so fucking cold.
I loved his secret places but I can't go anymore.
"You change like sugar cane," says my northern lad.
I guess you go too far when pianos try to be guitars.
I feel the West in you, but I, I feel it falling apart too.
And don't say that you don't.
And if you could see me now... Said if you could see me now.
Girls you've got to know when it's time to turn the page.
Or when you're only wet because of all the rain.
Or when you're only wet because of all the rain.
Because… of, because of... of the rain, because of...
Because of... of all the rain, because… of... the... rain...
Wisdom Teeth
Wisdom Teeth
~ Michele Hirning, Summer 1995
When they took them
I cried through the novocaine
and such cruel insistent digging.
It was as if they were after something that
wasn't there and the bone would crack
from my stubborn giving.
They took them but
not all because I was so very
full of pain and blindly resisting.
Afterwards they gave drugs
and sympathy and I went home
to ice packs and the slow aching.
Friends came with soft food
and movies but I couldn't
see the screen or eat through my crying.
I languished on the couch for days
swallowed pills and tears
and thought about only surviving.
Now, what has only recently taken root
is also extracted and it's
an even more begrudged giving.
This time I do crack:
she takes him all, and I am left
more shocked and wounded, more shaking.
They come with sympathy and soft eyes to
hear how I was wronged and read the poems
but I am more stubborn
and less wise,
there are no drugs
that work and the tools
don't stop digging.
~ Michele Hirning, Summer 1995
When they took them
I cried through the novocaine
and such cruel insistent digging.
It was as if they were after something that
wasn't there and the bone would crack
from my stubborn giving.
They took them but
not all because I was so very
full of pain and blindly resisting.
Afterwards they gave drugs
and sympathy and I went home
to ice packs and the slow aching.
Friends came with soft food
and movies but I couldn't
see the screen or eat through my crying.
I languished on the couch for days
swallowed pills and tears
and thought about only surviving.
Now, what has only recently taken root
is also extracted and it's
an even more begrudged giving.
This time I do crack:
she takes him all, and I am left
more shocked and wounded, more shaking.
They come with sympathy and soft eyes to
hear how I was wronged and read the poems
but I am more stubborn
and less wise,
there are no drugs
that work and the tools
don't stop digging.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
The Body Song
By Michele Hirning (circa 1994)
The body is a simple being
all skin and beat
it knows what it wants
it wants to win
another evening's silent retreat
from working limbs and
keeping eyes open into
repairs of the cell and well
regulated flush and heat.
It is easily satisfied by
meals and baths
a little coffee and nicotine
a little drink, a little something sweet.
Without love and longing
it is simply sexual:
a quick and clean machine.
This is all just good plumbing.
It is carefully maintained, organized
and roundly neat.
And I trust it, implicitly.
I know that we can only hope to be
good animals, nuzzling each other
mechanically.
The body is a cursed being
all sin and rage
it knows what it wants
it wants to be thin,
flawless like a celebrity,
it looks for escape
from mirrors and magazines
from age and the bars of this
osteoporotic cage.
It is never quite satisfied by
food - a war
to wage - either too-full or starving
these calories plumping up the blood stream.
Without lust or language
it is sickly sexual:
a silent and violated scream.
This is all just good upbringing.
It is carefully restrained, dressed-up
and placed upon a stage.
And I hate it, adoringly.
I know that we can only hope to be
good girls, killing ourselves
softly.
The body is a beautiful being
all song and light
it knows what it wants
it wants to begin,
to be healthy, to live long and
it will fight for a
space to dance, to dream and write
to be well-fed and go to
bed and wake up newly bright.
It is sometimes satisfied by
what it is
a body but also soul and mind
not separate, not wholly wrong or right.
Without lies and limits
it is serenely sexual:
a deeply delighted me, an irony.
This is all just good laughing.
It is lovingly uncontained, humored
it makes mistakes but it lives without fright.
And I accept it, unconditionally.
I know that we can only hope to be
good bodies, trying to live
soulfully.
The body is a simple being
all skin and beat
it knows what it wants
it wants to win
another evening's silent retreat
from working limbs and
keeping eyes open into
repairs of the cell and well
regulated flush and heat.
It is easily satisfied by
meals and baths
a little coffee and nicotine
a little drink, a little something sweet.
Without love and longing
it is simply sexual:
a quick and clean machine.
This is all just good plumbing.
It is carefully maintained, organized
and roundly neat.
And I trust it, implicitly.
I know that we can only hope to be
good animals, nuzzling each other
mechanically.
The body is a cursed being
all sin and rage
it knows what it wants
it wants to be thin,
flawless like a celebrity,
it looks for escape
from mirrors and magazines
from age and the bars of this
osteoporotic cage.
It is never quite satisfied by
food - a war
to wage - either too-full or starving
these calories plumping up the blood stream.
Without lust or language
it is sickly sexual:
a silent and violated scream.
This is all just good upbringing.
It is carefully restrained, dressed-up
and placed upon a stage.
And I hate it, adoringly.
I know that we can only hope to be
good girls, killing ourselves
softly.
The body is a beautiful being
all song and light
it knows what it wants
it wants to begin,
to be healthy, to live long and
it will fight for a
space to dance, to dream and write
to be well-fed and go to
bed and wake up newly bright.
It is sometimes satisfied by
what it is
a body but also soul and mind
not separate, not wholly wrong or right.
Without lies and limits
it is serenely sexual:
a deeply delighted me, an irony.
This is all just good laughing.
It is lovingly uncontained, humored
it makes mistakes but it lives without fright.
And I accept it, unconditionally.
I know that we can only hope to be
good bodies, trying to live
soulfully.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Translation of my Body
the translation of my body
becomes sodden today
in the darkly breathing
spaces
a wad of
wet blackly settling
napkins to wipe up
the spilt wine
cigarettes of the night
before
"good morning"
smiled
between lips used
into redundancy
and limbs lying
heavily
but tirelessly
tearing the recycled
wrapper
from a new day
becomes sodden today
in the darkly breathing
spaces
a wad of
wet blackly settling
napkins to wipe up
the spilt wine
cigarettes of the night
before
"good morning"
smiled
between lips used
into redundancy
and limbs lying
heavily
but tirelessly
tearing the recycled
wrapper
from a new day
Saturday, August 6, 2011
LizPhairsJustGonnaStandThere
Oh Liz Phair, how I loved you in the mid-Nineties!!! And how you described my life back then, in some ways....I loved how angry you were and how you did not hold a punch. Tell it like it is (was) girl....
Fuck & Run excerpt of lyrics:
"I didn't think this would happen again, no matter what I could do or say,
Just that I didn't think this would happen again, with or without my best intentions.
And whatever happened to a Boyfriend? The kind of guy who tries to win you over?
And whatever happened to a Boyfriend, the kind of guy who makes love cuz he's in it.
And I want a Boyfriend, I want a Boyfriend,
I want all the secret old shit like letters and sodas."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6iYQB6nVwI
More fucking, Liz Phair style:
Supernova
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tM60GAPIXTY&NR=1&feature=fvwp
"and you fuck like a volcano and you're everything to me"
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, I just feel so liberated saying this over & over on my own blog. :)
"Even when I was 17...even when I was twelve."
And she kept telling it, in later songs like the below....
Divorce Song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IktAMW2ui3I&feature=related
"and it's true that I stole your lighter
and it's also true that I lost the map
but when you said that I wasn't worth talking to
I had to take your word on that
but if you'd known how that would sound to me
you would've taken it back
and boxed it up and buried it in the ground"
This song just happens to apply MUCH more to my life now!
"and the license said you had to stick around until I was dead
but if you're tired of looking at my face, I guess I already am
but you never been no waste of my time, it's never been a drag
so take a deep breath and count back from ten and maybe you'll be all right"
AND...speaking of unhealthy relationships and divorce, another song I'm loving lately also ~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U&ob=av3n
"we’re runnin’ right back, here we go again
so insane, cause when it’s goin’ good its goin’ great
i’m superman with the wind in his back, she’s Lois Lane
but when its bad its awful, i feel so ashamed i snap"
And full lyrics to Part 2 ~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B50RUXbs-8
Love The Way You Lie lyrics (Part II)
by Rihanna
On the first page of our story
The future seemed so bright
Then this thing turned out so evil
I don’t know why I’m still surprised
Even angels have their wicked schemes
And you take that to new extremes
But you’ll always be my hero
Even though you’ve lost your mind
[Chorus]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Ohhh, I love the way you lie
[Rihanna]
Now there’s gravel in our voices
Glass is shattered from the fight
In this tug of war, you’ll always win
Even when I’m right
‘cause you feed me fables from your hand
With violent words and empty threats
And it’s sick that all these battles
Are what keeps me satisfied
[Chorus]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Ohhh, I love the way you lie
[Rihanna]
So maybe I’m a masochist
I try to run but I don’t wanna ever leave
Til the walls are goin’ up
In smoke with all our memories
[Eminem]
This morning, you wake, a sunray hits your face
Smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction
Hush baby, speak softly, tell me I’ll be sorry
That you pushed me into the coffee table last night
So I can push you off me
Try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
Run out the room and I’ll follow you like a lost puppy
Baby, without you, I’m nothing, I’m so lost, hug me
Then tell me how ugly I am, but that you’ll always love me
Then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the
Destructive path that we’re on, two psychopaths but we
Know that no matter how many knives we put in each other’s backs
That we’ll have each other’s backs, ’cause we’re that lucky
Together, we move mountains, let’s not make mountains out of molehills,
You hit me twice, yeah, but who’s countin’?
I may have hit you three times, I’m startin’ to lose count
But together, we’ll live forever, we found the youth fountain
Our love is crazy, we’re nuts, but I refused counsellin’
This house is too huge, if you move out I’ll burn all two thousand
Square feet of it to the ground, ain’t shit you can do about it
With you I’m in my f-ckin’ mind, without you, I’m out it
[Chorus]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Ohhh, I love the way you lie
Fuck & Run excerpt of lyrics:
"I didn't think this would happen again, no matter what I could do or say,
Just that I didn't think this would happen again, with or without my best intentions.
And whatever happened to a Boyfriend? The kind of guy who tries to win you over?
And whatever happened to a Boyfriend, the kind of guy who makes love cuz he's in it.
And I want a Boyfriend, I want a Boyfriend,
I want all the secret old shit like letters and sodas."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6iYQB6nVwI
More fucking, Liz Phair style:
Supernova
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tM60GAPIXTY&NR=1&feature=fvwp
"and you fuck like a volcano and you're everything to me"
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, I just feel so liberated saying this over & over on my own blog. :)
"Even when I was 17...even when I was twelve."
And she kept telling it, in later songs like the below....
Divorce Song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IktAMW2ui3I&feature=related
"and it's true that I stole your lighter
and it's also true that I lost the map
but when you said that I wasn't worth talking to
I had to take your word on that
but if you'd known how that would sound to me
you would've taken it back
and boxed it up and buried it in the ground"
This song just happens to apply MUCH more to my life now!
"and the license said you had to stick around until I was dead
but if you're tired of looking at my face, I guess I already am
but you never been no waste of my time, it's never been a drag
so take a deep breath and count back from ten and maybe you'll be all right"
AND...speaking of unhealthy relationships and divorce, another song I'm loving lately also ~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U&ob=av3n
"we’re runnin’ right back, here we go again
so insane, cause when it’s goin’ good its goin’ great
i’m superman with the wind in his back, she’s Lois Lane
but when its bad its awful, i feel so ashamed i snap"
And full lyrics to Part 2 ~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B50RUXbs-8
Love The Way You Lie lyrics (Part II)
by Rihanna
On the first page of our story
The future seemed so bright
Then this thing turned out so evil
I don’t know why I’m still surprised
Even angels have their wicked schemes
And you take that to new extremes
But you’ll always be my hero
Even though you’ve lost your mind
[Chorus]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Ohhh, I love the way you lie
[Rihanna]
Now there’s gravel in our voices
Glass is shattered from the fight
In this tug of war, you’ll always win
Even when I’m right
‘cause you feed me fables from your hand
With violent words and empty threats
And it’s sick that all these battles
Are what keeps me satisfied
[Chorus]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Ohhh, I love the way you lie
[Rihanna]
So maybe I’m a masochist
I try to run but I don’t wanna ever leave
Til the walls are goin’ up
In smoke with all our memories
[Eminem]
This morning, you wake, a sunray hits your face
Smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction
Hush baby, speak softly, tell me I’ll be sorry
That you pushed me into the coffee table last night
So I can push you off me
Try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
Run out the room and I’ll follow you like a lost puppy
Baby, without you, I’m nothing, I’m so lost, hug me
Then tell me how ugly I am, but that you’ll always love me
Then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the
Destructive path that we’re on, two psychopaths but we
Know that no matter how many knives we put in each other’s backs
That we’ll have each other’s backs, ’cause we’re that lucky
Together, we move mountains, let’s not make mountains out of molehills,
You hit me twice, yeah, but who’s countin’?
I may have hit you three times, I’m startin’ to lose count
But together, we’ll live forever, we found the youth fountain
Our love is crazy, we’re nuts, but I refused counsellin’
This house is too huge, if you move out I’ll burn all two thousand
Square feet of it to the ground, ain’t shit you can do about it
With you I’m in my f-ckin’ mind, without you, I’m out it
[Chorus]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Ohhh, I love the way you lie
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